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VICAXP

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peace and chicken grease!
Articles Posted: 143  Links Seeded: 63
Member Since: 10/2006  Last Seen: 2/23/2012

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WTF, Santa? (The Eighth Funny Day of Christmas)

Sun Dec 20, 2009 8:32 AM EST
odd-news, wtf, shit, tfd09, christmas-cheer-gimme-a-beer, drollhouse-rocks, fabloota, the-12-funny-days-of-xmas
By vicaxp
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Witticisms escape me and writer's block fully contains me, but I will muddle through in accordance with Drollhouse law! I toyed with the ideas of stories of cunnilinguists spreading joy all over the world one perfect orgasm at a time. Or the pleasures one derives from applying to one's lover the perfect Danish-face! Could it be a tale of Frosty the Blowman or the First Blow-well? All sound jumping off points, but they are only phrases and the fleshing out is where I find myself squirming for patience and wit!

Off color humor works at times, but phrases like Alabama wind chimes and the like are not oft viewed kindly at this festive time of year. Descriptive verses to provide images of bowel movements might work; fabloota, a grumpy, hanging a duke, taking the browns to the superbowl. But again are these phrases turned appropriate for the holiday season?

I look at the snow falling and how lovely it is, until I twist my knee shoveling the ungodly amounts and wonder if bahumbug might not give me cause for pause. Clichés may have a place in the fantasy prose, though if you cant be with the one you love honey, love the one your with almost seems a sales pitch for a prostitute more than a warm and cherished thought! And why the twelve days of Christmas? Is that a bastard Christian way of trying to outdo the Hanukah spirit?

I grow weary of my own thoughts and don't wish to overindulge myself with myself. So if you ever find yourself fighting for a story or even a phrase, don't forget that dick jokes are always funny!

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Published to:

  • vicaxp's Column, All of Newsvine
  • Groups: Arena Of Death, Hot-Chicks, Newsvines drunks, ObamaExpress, Open Mic, Parents and Parenting, Personal Narratives, Relationships, Satire @ Newsvine, The Drollhouse, Tin Foil Hats, Virginians on the Vine, Washington DC Metro Living, Whoreticulture
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  • Public Discussion (11)
vicaxp

The Drollhouse made me do it!

  • 6 votes
Reply#1 - Sun Dec 20, 2009 8:32 AM EST
Jim420

Well, How about a nice "Mary Kissmyass" or "the 12 days of kissmyass"

  • 2 votes
#1.1 - Sun Dec 20, 2009 12:17 PM EST
Reply
Lilith41

Th twelve days Of Cunninglingus sound marvelous but why only Chrsitmas? Spread all the joy cumming all year!

  • 7 votes
Reply#2 - Sun Dec 20, 2009 8:37 AM EST
Brad Leclerc

Couldn't agree more!

  • 3 votes
#2.1 - Sun Dec 20, 2009 10:20 AM EST
ruthlessmoose

now THAT is somehting I can celebrate all year long!!

  • 2 votes
#2.2 - Mon Dec 21, 2009 10:20 AM EST
Reply
rwarner

Ew!!

good "job".
lol.

  • 7 votes
Reply#3 - Sun Dec 20, 2009 9:03 AM EST
lauhal

You crack me up, Vic! LOLOL Robin said "job".

  • 4 votes
Reply#4 - Sun Dec 20, 2009 2:20 PM EST
vicaxp

Thanks, lauhal! It was a reach, but was fun!

  • 3 votes
#4.1 - Sun Dec 20, 2009 4:38 PM EST
Reply
Walt D

It's a euphemopalooza!

  • 5 votes
Reply#5 - Sun Dec 20, 2009 5:18 PM EST
Kimberly-430040

Witticisms escape me and writer's block fully contains me

Liar ;)!

  • 3 votes
Reply#6 - Mon Dec 21, 2009 2:35 PM EST
rwarner

We Wish You a Merry♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ Christmas♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪We Wish You a Merry ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪Christmas ♥ ♥ ♥We Wish You A Merry ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪Christmas ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪...And A Happy New Year!♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪

    Reply#7 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 9:53 PM EST
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